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VERY UNAUSTRALIAN TO NOT READ THIS….

Australia.

The land where our best behaved convicts made up our first police force, where Rum was the main currency in the early days of settlement & Bob Hawke could well be the only world leader who earned a place in the Guinness Book of Records for boozing when he drank a yard glass of ale in fewer than 12 seconds.

We’re the world’s largest producer of opium alkaloids & live in a bloke’s paradise, where there’s almost 100,000 more women than men. We were the 3rd country to launch a satellite into orbit & have a current law in place in Victoria where the wearing of hot pink pants after midday on Sunday’s is…..wait……illegal! We’re home to the square poop of a Wombat & the most venomous snakes & spiders in the world. The movie business began here in 1899 & in 1838 it was illegal to swim on a public beach. We have slower internet speed than much of the world where Kazakhstan, Madagascar & Vanuatu are all much faster. We believe that subbies can either be drunk or worn, that the “I” in Australia is optional & that Woolloomooloo is a perfectly reasonable name for a place. Here, it makes sense to have a $1 coin twice as big as a $2 one where it’s not Summer until the steering wheel is too hot to touch, we get choked by emotion at the first verse of the national anthem & then have trouble remembering the second & as Australian’s, both here & overseas, we all will realise that the above is stuff that Australia’s will truly understand.

One thing we know & will certainly all agree upon. We live in the BEST country in the world & for that we are forever grateful. So, here’s to lamingtons & meatpies, Iced Vo Vos & Violet Crumbles & to a safe & happy AUSSIE DAY….

The Goss!
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VERY UNAUSTRALIAN TO NOT READ THIS….